Monday, 19 March 2018

Unmotivated: Stream of Consciousness

I’m sat here in front of my laptop and, like most days, I really cannot be bothered to write. I feel completely drained and so deflated. I’m tired. I’m anxious. I’m lonely. So instead of talking about one topic I thought I would just share my opinion and take on some things and splice in some of my real-time thoughts at the same time.

*Some of these thoughts were inspired by some tweets that I’ve seen recently and disagreed with. I’m not in any way trying to start arguments or drag people down; I’m using my platform, my blog to express how I personally feel about them.

** Also; some of these may be “unpopular opinions” so be prepared for that. If you don’t agree that’s fine and it’s OK to say so but please be mindful of what you write in response to me, an actual human being with feelings. If you wouldn’t say it in person then you shouldn’t write it online.

***I may end up completely removing the “unpopular opinions”/controversial thoughts.

Here we go:

Competition between bloggers: I am only in competition with myself. I strive to be better than I was the day before; as a blogger, a writer and as a person.

I wonder if anyone gets excited when they see I’ve posted something new.

I wish more people would say “hello” to me.


I wish more people would try to have a conversation with me.

Thanks for reading this post! How are you?

I wish that when I post my views on something I wouldn’t see people that I once regarded as friends writing indirect tweets after.

I wish I didn’t feel so bad about being myself because I’m not “positive enough” and “always depressed”. I have depression; go figure.

I really should finish those books that I started.

Just because I have severe anxiety and depression it doesn’t mean that I am unworthy of even basic communication (“hi”). It also doesn’t mean that if we have a conversation that everything will be based around me telling you how sad I am and how panicked I feel.

I’m more interested in getting to know you than you realise.

I still think about that time that I replied to a fellow blogger’s tweet and he and his friend tried to call me out for replying (note: it was because I had REPLIED and wasn’t due to what I had said. I had agreed with him). They made me feel like a complete idiot for daring to reply despite said friend not being tagged so it wasn't like it was a "private" conversation of theirs either. 

I'd also never spoken to said blogger before so there was no past history of any wrong doing.

His need to shame me actually caused me to have a breakdown.

Thanks for that.

I resist replying to anything he posts now and contemplate unfollowing him daily.

Why is it so hard to unfollow fellow bloggers?

Why is it so hard to unfollow former friends?

Why does one of my friends not understand that mental health isn’t a competition and that she shouldn’t be trying to one-up people?

Why do people ask me for advice and then never take it yet blame me when they don’t and it goes wrong? That is not my problem. You wanted advice; you got it. You didn’t want to take it; things went tits-up for you. That is not my fault.

People shouldn’t self-diagnose. Always, always seek professional help.

Buying followers, likes, comments should be banned.

Bot accounts should be banned and shouldn’t be allowed to be created at all.

I think I just cracked a tooth.

Cyberbullying needs to stop.

Well, it doesn’t hurt and I can’t feel any obvious change with my tongue so…

If you use IM/text speak in your posts then I won’t read them. I just can’t take adults and/or professionals seriously when they use “u” or “ur” etc.

The same goes if you have no grasp of correct grammar. "We was" drives me up the wall.

I really can’t stand blogs (that are supposed to be true to what a person has experienced) that read as fictional stories. Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

I wonder if my readers would be supportive of my fictional writing...?

Those who constantly follow and unfollow accounts in aid of gaining more followers (and having more followers than they are following) should just be banned.

Same goes for those who straight up rip off or plagiarise other people's content.

I should probably wrap up this post. I’m definitely going to remove the “controversial” opinions; they’re not worth the worrying and the “what ifs” over people not being civilised.

If you made it this far you deserve some sort of reward. You should probably go reward yourself now. You may want to reward yourself with the art of conversation by starting one below or even by saying “hello” on Twitter…


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Unmotivated: Stream of Consciousness

I’m sat here in front of my laptop and, like most days, I really cannot be bothered to write. I feel completely drained and so deflated. I...

Anxiously, Me